Well, I attended the dance competition in a Gorean sim at the end of last week. I had decided not to go with an observer tag, but to try to interact. I felt that was the way to a true feeling of the RP. I was very nervous when I arrived, I'm not very good at RP and did not want to spoil anyone else's enjoyment. It turned out that there was little interaction with folk around, but then again, they were concentrating on the competition, and I was suffering badly from lag.
So, what did I feel? Not withstanding that I was in a strange environment, though completely safe, I felt uncomfortable. There was a lot of emoting, and most of the speech was enclosed in quotes, basically like a book. To me, it seemed 'laboured', perhaps this is how RP is suppose to be. I enjoyed the dancing, they 'chant' or 'story tell' while they dance, which is interesting. There were 2 teams, I was unable to read the story from the first team, it was posted too quickly, but I was able to follow the story from the second team. The second teams story was about the capture of a women, the chase, collaring and chaining, and about how the women was 'glad' to be enslaved. The interesting thing about this dance was the music chosen, the theme from Last of the Mohicans, in which a women is captured, enslaved and fights back, the scene as she makes the ultimate sacrifice to deny her captor his prize is a very moving one for me, and is the very opposite to Gorean thinking. All I could think ,as the story unfolded, was that if a man tried to enslave me, he would have a wild cat on his hands, and ran a good chance of wearing his chain as a collar for the rest of his, rather shortened, life. Visiting a Gorean sim was something I had wanted to do, now I have done it, I don't think I will return except in a 'business' situation.
I feel I need to get on with exploring SL again, I've spent a lot of time involved in NCI, teaching, scripting, and socializing. Perhaps I should put some time aside to go get 'lost' each week.
Monday, 31 March 2008
Thursday, 27 March 2008
On SL and Gor
Well, its been a long time since I last blogged. Things are not always easy to blog about, I think some of the things I wrote maybe should have been kept 'under the lid'.
I have noticed things are changing in SL recently, in the past when I TP to a location (even one close) I had to wait for everything to rez, recently though, close locations seem to be already downloaded and rez almost instantly. I'm also noticing a cyclic behavior in how lag affects me, I could be fine, at 15fps one moment, the next I'm down at 2 or 3 fps and SL keeps 'freezing' for a few seconds, than it recovers ( this using the RC client). I have not found any rhyme or reason to the cycles. I am starting to suspect that LL have changed the server code to 'pre-rez' locations nearby but still out of view, I'm running the latest RC client, so it may be something in the client. LL are also moving to a distributed asset server model, and this could be a side effect of that. On the other hand, it could be my PC! The thing I have noticed is that when its good, its very good, and when its bad, its very bad.
I recently installed a Stargate, I loved that program and Stargate Atlantis, but I think the UK stopped showing them (Atlantis at the end of season 2 I think). This is the way teleporting should work, its fun. Anyone can set up a Stargate, and there are something like 3 networks in operation.
I have recently been looking at different 'societies' in SL, ones based on books or tv shows. The Gorean series seem to well established, more so than any other. The philosophy behind Gor is one I find I cannot subscribe to, to subjugate an entire Gender is, to my mind, wrong. There are many folk out there who are willing to be totally submissive, and some who are willing to be totally dominating, but to base a society on an entire Gender to be willing to be subjected to total submission is very far fetched.
In my view, the books are based on one man's misunderstanding of ancient gender roles (which are no longer applicable). In pass times, women were the home makers, they looked after the children, and did all the chores in the home (be it tent, cave, etc), the men went hunting. In such a society, a women's best survival strategy was to join with a strong man, one who could bring home the best cuts. Strong men tend to be domineering, so a women's best method to catch such a man would be to be submissive.
Why is this?
For the women, they had many tasks and the best way to deal with them was to cooperate and share out the tasks, this type of cooperation dose not need a strong leader, simply for folk to accept fairness. For the men, its different, they had one task that they all had to cooperate in (to hunt), and in that a strong leader is needed. From this, successful men tended to be strong and aggressive, successful women tended to be social and sympathetic (_not_ weak!).
In my view John Norman misinterpreted the gender roles as Master/Slave and based a society on it. I believe such a society would collapse, because the driving force for women is not as he describes in the books.
So, why are Gorean sims successful in SL? There are a number of reasons. First, those that parcipitate are self selecting, unlike the books. Second, there must be a respect for all, even slaves, for even slaves have free choice and cannot be compelled against their wishes, unlike the books. Third, many folk feel pressured in RL, to have all choice removed is a pleasure in itself, some folk feel helpless in RL, with no control, to have absolute control over others is, again, a pleasure esp when they know that control is freely given, not forced.
No doubt many feel (as i did at first) that the Gorean sims had no place in SL. I have come to a different conclusion. They represent an escape from RL, a way to experience a different life, a way to release tensions. I know some try to follow Gorean ways in RL, that is their choice (even a Gorean slave in RL has freedom of choice!).
I have been invited to a Gorean sim and I will be interested to see how my views change (if they do)
I have noticed things are changing in SL recently, in the past when I TP to a location (even one close) I had to wait for everything to rez, recently though, close locations seem to be already downloaded and rez almost instantly. I'm also noticing a cyclic behavior in how lag affects me, I could be fine, at 15fps one moment, the next I'm down at 2 or 3 fps and SL keeps 'freezing' for a few seconds, than it recovers ( this using the RC client). I have not found any rhyme or reason to the cycles. I am starting to suspect that LL have changed the server code to 'pre-rez' locations nearby but still out of view, I'm running the latest RC client, so it may be something in the client. LL are also moving to a distributed asset server model, and this could be a side effect of that. On the other hand, it could be my PC! The thing I have noticed is that when its good, its very good, and when its bad, its very bad.
I recently installed a Stargate, I loved that program and Stargate Atlantis, but I think the UK stopped showing them (Atlantis at the end of season 2 I think). This is the way teleporting should work, its fun. Anyone can set up a Stargate, and there are something like 3 networks in operation.
I have recently been looking at different 'societies' in SL, ones based on books or tv shows. The Gorean series seem to well established, more so than any other. The philosophy behind Gor is one I find I cannot subscribe to, to subjugate an entire Gender is, to my mind, wrong. There are many folk out there who are willing to be totally submissive, and some who are willing to be totally dominating, but to base a society on an entire Gender to be willing to be subjected to total submission is very far fetched.
In my view, the books are based on one man's misunderstanding of ancient gender roles (which are no longer applicable). In pass times, women were the home makers, they looked after the children, and did all the chores in the home (be it tent, cave, etc), the men went hunting. In such a society, a women's best survival strategy was to join with a strong man, one who could bring home the best cuts. Strong men tend to be domineering, so a women's best method to catch such a man would be to be submissive.
Why is this?
For the women, they had many tasks and the best way to deal with them was to cooperate and share out the tasks, this type of cooperation dose not need a strong leader, simply for folk to accept fairness. For the men, its different, they had one task that they all had to cooperate in (to hunt), and in that a strong leader is needed. From this, successful men tended to be strong and aggressive, successful women tended to be social and sympathetic (_not_ weak!).
In my view John Norman misinterpreted the gender roles as Master/Slave and based a society on it. I believe such a society would collapse, because the driving force for women is not as he describes in the books.
So, why are Gorean sims successful in SL? There are a number of reasons. First, those that parcipitate are self selecting, unlike the books. Second, there must be a respect for all, even slaves, for even slaves have free choice and cannot be compelled against their wishes, unlike the books. Third, many folk feel pressured in RL, to have all choice removed is a pleasure in itself, some folk feel helpless in RL, with no control, to have absolute control over others is, again, a pleasure esp when they know that control is freely given, not forced.
No doubt many feel (as i did at first) that the Gorean sims had no place in SL. I have come to a different conclusion. They represent an escape from RL, a way to experience a different life, a way to release tensions. I know some try to follow Gorean ways in RL, that is their choice (even a Gorean slave in RL has freedom of choice!).
I have been invited to a Gorean sim and I will be interested to see how my views change (if they do)
Friday, 7 December 2007
Random Musings
My SL life is, as is common in SL, continually changing. Thank goodness for Talia, she is the one constant that keeps me anchored. Talia and Austin give me a base of stability, normality that I need. I sometimes feel a little envious of their freedom, but we each chose how we live our SL lives and mine I have chosen more by subconscious needs than by conscious thought. Without Talia and Austin I think I would implode.
I also need a man, not just any man, one who accepts me and accepts what drives me, one who can be a companion. I know that I am difficult to be with, I tend not to turn IMs away, some are friends just saying 'Hi', some are important IMs because someone has a problem, some are from folk who need help. Sometimes things happen which I feel need my immediate attention, This is a part of me, a part of who I am, something I cannot change. I was hoping Un would be such a man, but his life has been complicated recently and he is still developing, maybe he will be in the future, but for now he needs space.
On the NCI front, I'm still finding my place. I started as an Instructor and now (by some method I have yet to figure out) I appear to be the NCI Education Director's Deputy (unofficial). RoseLinUK London, the Education Director, has been very busy with other projects recently, and has left me to deal with the day to day issues. When I joined SL, I had no intention of working, and I think I am still in that situation. I do what I do because I enjoy it (most of the time lol). If I enjoy it, is it work?
I still like the idea of opening a store, though what I have to sell is rather an eclectic bunch of items. Talia and Austin are also starting to build some good stuff, Un has items as well, so maybe a store for the River Rats group! All we need to do is find a location!
Time to sign off and get back to work lol
Afon
I also need a man, not just any man, one who accepts me and accepts what drives me, one who can be a companion. I know that I am difficult to be with, I tend not to turn IMs away, some are friends just saying 'Hi', some are important IMs because someone has a problem, some are from folk who need help. Sometimes things happen which I feel need my immediate attention, This is a part of me, a part of who I am, something I cannot change. I was hoping Un would be such a man, but his life has been complicated recently and he is still developing, maybe he will be in the future, but for now he needs space.
On the NCI front, I'm still finding my place. I started as an Instructor and now (by some method I have yet to figure out) I appear to be the NCI Education Director's Deputy (unofficial). RoseLinUK London, the Education Director, has been very busy with other projects recently, and has left me to deal with the day to day issues. When I joined SL, I had no intention of working, and I think I am still in that situation. I do what I do because I enjoy it (most of the time lol). If I enjoy it, is it work?
I still like the idea of opening a store, though what I have to sell is rather an eclectic bunch of items. Talia and Austin are also starting to build some good stuff, Un has items as well, so maybe a store for the River Rats group! All we need to do is find a location!
Time to sign off and get back to work lol
Afon
Monday, 8 October 2007
Un-Day
Well this Saturday was Un-Day, a concert and auction in support of Thrombosis research. It was suppose to be a 24 hour concert but ended up as something like 35 hours long! I spent most of Saturday at the venue, on security detail, but there was no trouble (and I had Un with me, dancing together at the front gate *giggles*). The concert was sparked by Unmasked Shepherd's situation, she is very ill and we all feel for her. I remember her when she first joined SL, Talia and I were among the first to make contact with her, a somewhat scared newbie, and it gives me great pleasure to see how she has blossomed within the environment of SL. She is an excellent artist, drawing from RL and SL, creating her own music and prose. She remained awake throughout the scheduled 24 hours of the concert, which is so typical of her, only going to bed shortly after it was suppose to finish. The concert itself took on a life of its own, continuing for another 11 hours! I don't know how much was donated, but I do know it must be close to half a million Lindens.
Sunday was spent finishing off at the Un-Day concert (it was scheduled to finish at 5am PDT/13:00 BST), updating the Class Schedule, teaching one class, and apologizing for Instructor no-shows for two others.
I asked Talia and Austin for permission to invite Un into our group, the River Rats, and they made fun of me while I tried to put the question together! Sheesh, they only got away with it cause I love them both. I invited Un and he agreed without reservation (and no, Talia, its not the same as 'popping the question' *giggles*). So the trap round my heart is closing, but its a nice trap and I'm happy to be in it. I'm still concerned that I am unable to devote more time to Un, he must feel he is sharing me with NCI.
Monday was busy as usual, with an RL commitment taking a few hours out and needing to complete the class listing in SL's events. Still it was made more pleasant as I was dancing with Un at the end-of-concert dance whilst doing the updates.
Happiness is more important than freedom
Afon
Sunday was spent finishing off at the Un-Day concert (it was scheduled to finish at 5am PDT/13:00 BST), updating the Class Schedule, teaching one class, and apologizing for Instructor no-shows for two others.
I asked Talia and Austin for permission to invite Un into our group, the River Rats, and they made fun of me while I tried to put the question together! Sheesh, they only got away with it cause I love them both. I invited Un and he agreed without reservation (and no, Talia, its not the same as 'popping the question' *giggles*). So the trap round my heart is closing, but its a nice trap and I'm happy to be in it. I'm still concerned that I am unable to devote more time to Un, he must feel he is sharing me with NCI.
Monday was busy as usual, with an RL commitment taking a few hours out and needing to complete the class listing in SL's events. Still it was made more pleasant as I was dancing with Un at the end-of-concert dance whilst doing the updates.
Happiness is more important than freedom
Afon
Friday, 5 October 2007
Long Time No Blog
Hmm, its been a while since I last blogged. I usually write the blog during my lunch break at work, but I have been on training this week with no access to the internet during the day.
So what has been happening, well Peter reappeared , which gave me a real shock. He was only on for about 30 minutes and did not IM me. He had sent me an email before logging on, but it was a cold, matter of fact, email simply saying that his PC had fried itself and he was unable to contact me due being unemployed and homeless. I was IMed by my friends and I felt like a phalanx had surrounded me to protect me. To all my friends, a big thank you, lots of hugs, I love you all. I was with Un, cuddling in his arms. He told me that if I wanted to go back with Peter he would understand. Not a chance, Un is everything Peter wasn't and more, so basically no contest. There will always be a bit of my heart that's Peter's, that will always cause a little twinge, but I choose Un. I choose a sweet, gentle, man with whom I can be comfortable with, a man I can trust totally, a companion. /me sighs contentedly.
What else, well NCI International disappeared a little early, So had some fun rearranging venues for the classes that were due to be there, the only problem one was my hair class which requires a lot of free prims. I tried to hold it at NCI South, plenty of prims, but the sim crashed and when it came back up, it was unstable. This class is going to be a headache to host.
Talia and Austin got themselves partnered, WOOT WOOT. I'm so happy for them. Ahh, the stories I could tell from the past, but I better not *giggles*. Anyway, I don't need to wish them the best, they already have it, in each other.
Must go, I have a ton of things I must do.
Afon
Monday, 1 October 2007
A Crazy Weekend
What a weekend!
The most memorial thing to happen was that Peter logged in! It was like an electric shock through me. I was with Un, cuddling and chatting, when he logged in. I was contacted by Dey, with offers of support, and Talia came on line shortly after and offered her support. Held by Un, I felt like a phalanx of friends had surrounded me to protect me, they all helped me. I am so grateful to them, I feel so undeserving. Peter did not contact me, and logged off shortly after.
In RL I have not been in the position of losing someone close to me, so I am unprepared to handle the emotions I feel. Un has made me so happy, and he is such a sweet gentleman. I think he may have been dreading this day, wondering if I would go back with Peter. He told me that if i wanted to, he would understand and accept my desicion. That confirmed what I allready knew, that I choose Un. I still feel the pain of that shock, it will take a while to abate, but at least I have felt what I dreaded. If Peter logs in again, the pain wont be so bad, and I know it will lessen over time.
The rest of the weekend is kind of a blur, some things happened that I cannot blog, good things.
Afon
The most memorial thing to happen was that Peter logged in! It was like an electric shock through me. I was with Un, cuddling and chatting, when he logged in. I was contacted by Dey, with offers of support, and Talia came on line shortly after and offered her support. Held by Un, I felt like a phalanx of friends had surrounded me to protect me, they all helped me. I am so grateful to them, I feel so undeserving. Peter did not contact me, and logged off shortly after.
In RL I have not been in the position of losing someone close to me, so I am unprepared to handle the emotions I feel. Un has made me so happy, and he is such a sweet gentleman. I think he may have been dreading this day, wondering if I would go back with Peter. He told me that if i wanted to, he would understand and accept my desicion. That confirmed what I allready knew, that I choose Un. I still feel the pain of that shock, it will take a while to abate, but at least I have felt what I dreaded. If Peter logs in again, the pain wont be so bad, and I know it will lessen over time.
The rest of the weekend is kind of a blur, some things happened that I cannot blog, good things.
Afon
Saturday, 29 September 2007
Dancing Away The Night
A late login and a welcome Hi from Un.
Just after logging in, Talia also logged in, so we had chat before I went to join Unique.
Un took me to a romantic sim called Venezia Italia where we took a gondola ride round the canals, relaxing in Un's arms. Un told me its was a bit slow in places, but I did not mind *smiles dreamily*. I usually use my camera to check out any shops we pass, but I didn't this time, hmm, I wonder if I'm coming down with something lol.
Once the trip was over, we then went onto the dance club there and danced the rest of the night away. First dancing a ballroom, then a slow dance, finally kissing on a bridge over one of the canals.
Afon
Just after logging in, Talia also logged in, so we had chat before I went to join Unique.
Un took me to a romantic sim called Venezia Italia where we took a gondola ride round the canals, relaxing in Un's arms. Un told me its was a bit slow in places, but I did not mind *smiles dreamily*. I usually use my camera to check out any shops we pass, but I didn't this time, hmm, I wonder if I'm coming down with something lol.
Once the trip was over, we then went onto the dance club there and danced the rest of the night away. First dancing a ballroom, then a slow dance, finally kissing on a bridge over one of the canals.
Afon
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