Abstract Ramblings

I stand at the end of the field,
I cannot go further, the ground, soggy,
To go further may cause me to get stuck,
perhaps to be swallowed up,
Is it important?
Would the world be less without me?
A few would miss me, would morn me,
But my name, who I am, would disappear,
The light is going, I head back,
Parts I have to go through are wet and muddy
I need to see to avoid them
The Moon hangs, bright, in the clear, dark blue, sky
I would like to stop and watch it
But I have to get back
Why?
Return for me?
No
I return for others
Others rely on me
I have to be back in time
I pick my way across the field to the path
I need to hurry, the light, fading
To be back for others
who am I?
what am I?
I am neither here nor there
Neither male nor female
Intelligent but not intelligent
I have been given a clever mind
But not clever enough to do anything with it
A promise that can never be fulfilled
A task started that can never be finish
Why am I here?
To procreate, to maintain the species
That, I have done, what now?
Nothing
I live for others
My plans, ideas, are around others
I cannot not think of others
Putting them first
I reach a muddy bit, carefully negotiate it
The horizon ahead slowly darkening
I check the time
How long to get back?
Would I be missed?
If I failed to be there
Would things stop?
No
I am driven, I cannot let them down
Without them, I would just stop
Like a flame
Barely enough to light
Barely enough to heat
The only future is to be extinguished
I forge ahead along a dry section
Was there more muddy sections ahead?
Dose it matter?
On my left a bird calls from inside a bush
Do I have any more reason to exist than the bird?
I have been cursed
I have a brain that allows me to understand things
To know the world
To know the futility
To know that no matter what you do
It means nothing
Life is too complicated now
In earlier times, could I have been a Newton
A Galileo?
Today, such folk would fail
What is my contribution?
Its the same as the drunk in the street
Or the bird in the bush
None
I cannot be who I am
So why continue to be what I am?
Because others rely on me
I cannot be who I am because of others
But without them
Could I be?
I come across another muddy section
The light is fading
The bright horizon ahead makes seeing the path difficult
I plow through
Why do I try to avoid the water and mud?
It matters the way my existence matters
Something to consider, to maintain
Something unimportant in the big picture
I reach the road
I check the time
I am ok
I have time
I cross the bridge
Below me, cars whiz past
People in them, places to go
Things to do
Oblivious to the meaninglessness of everything
I go to teach, give others skills and knowledge
And an empty promise