Random Musings

My SL life is, as is common in SL, continually changing. Thank goodness for Talia, she is the one constant that keeps me anchored. Talia and Austin give me a base of stability, normality that I need. I sometimes feel a little envious of their freedom, but we each chose how we live our SL lives and mine I have chosen more by subconscious needs than by conscious thought. Without Talia and Austin I think I would implode.

I also need a man, not just any man, one who accepts me and accepts what drives me, one who can be a companion. I know that I am difficult to be with, I tend not to turn IMs away, some are friends just saying 'Hi', some are important IMs because someone has a problem, some are from folk who need help. Sometimes things happen which I feel need my immediate attention, This is a part of me, a part of who I am, something I cannot change. I was hoping Un would be such a man, but his life has been complicated recently and he is still developing, maybe he will be in the future, but for now he needs space.

On the NCI front, I'm still finding my place. I started as an Instructor and now (by some method I have yet to figure out) I appear to be the NCI Education Director's Deputy (unofficial). RoseLinUK London, the Education Director, has been very busy with other projects recently, and has left me to deal with the day to day issues. When I joined SL, I had no intention of working, and I think I am still in that situation. I do what I do because I enjoy it (most of the time lol). If I enjoy it, is it work?

I still like the idea of opening a store, though what I have to sell is rather an eclectic bunch of items. Talia and Austin are also starting to build some good stuff, Un has items as well, so maybe a store for the River Rats group! All we need to do is find a location!

Time to sign off and get back to work lol

Afon

Un-Day

Well this Saturday was Un-Day, a concert and auction in support of Thrombosis research. It was suppose to be a 24 hour concert but ended up as something like 35 hours long! I spent most of Saturday at the venue, on security detail, but there was no trouble (and I had Un with me, dancing together at the front gate *giggles*). The concert was sparked by Unmasked Shepherd's situation, she is very ill and we all feel for her. I remember her when she first joined SL, Talia and I were among the first to make contact with her, a somewhat scared newbie, and it gives me great pleasure to see how she has blossomed within the environment of SL. She is an excellent artist, drawing from RL and SL, creating her own music and prose. She remained awake throughout the scheduled 24 hours of the concert, which is so typical of her, only going to bed shortly after it was suppose to finish. The concert itself took on a life of its own, continuing for another 11 hours! I don't know how much was donated, but I do know it must be close to half a million Lindens.

Sunday was spent finishing off at the Un-Day concert (it was scheduled to finish at 5am PDT/13:00 BST), updating the Class Schedule, teaching one class, and apologizing for Instructor no-shows for two others.

I asked Talia and Austin for permission to invite Un into our group, the River Rats, and they made fun of me while I tried to put the question together! Sheesh, they only got away with it cause I love them both. I invited Un and he agreed without reservation (and no, Talia, its not the same as 'popping the question' *giggles*). So the trap round my heart is closing, but its a nice trap and I'm happy to be in it. I'm still concerned that I am unable to devote more time to Un, he must feel he is sharing me with NCI.

Monday was busy as usual, with an RL commitment taking a few hours out and needing to complete the class listing in SL's events. Still it was made more pleasant as I was dancing with Un at the end-of-concert dance whilst doing the updates.

Happiness is more important than freedom

Afon

Long Time No Blog

Hmm, its been a while since I last blogged. I usually write the blog during my lunch break at work, but I have been on training this week with no access to the internet during the day.

So what has been happening, well Peter reappeared , which gave me a real shock. He was only on for about 30 minutes and did not IM me. He had sent me an email before logging on, but it was a cold, matter of fact, email simply saying that his PC had fried itself and he was unable to contact me due being unemployed and homeless. I was IMed by my friends and I felt like a phalanx had surrounded me to protect me. To all my friends, a big thank you, lots of hugs, I love you all. I was with Un, cuddling in his arms. He told me that if I wanted to go back with Peter he would understand. Not a chance, Un is everything Peter wasn't and more, so basically no contest. There will always be a bit of my heart that's Peter's, that will always cause a little twinge, but I choose Un. I choose a sweet, gentle, man with whom I can be comfortable with, a man I can trust totally, a companion. /me sighs contentedly.

What else, well NCI International disappeared a little early, So had some fun rearranging venues for the classes that were due to be there, the only problem one was my hair class which requires a lot of free prims. I tried to hold it at NCI South, plenty of prims, but the sim crashed and when it came back up, it was unstable. This class is going to be a headache to host.

Talia and Austin got themselves partnered, WOOT WOOT. I'm so happy for them. Ahh, the stories I could tell from the past, but I better not *giggles*. Anyway, I don't need to wish them the best, they already have it, in each other.

Must go, I have a ton of things I must do.

Afon

A Crazy Weekend

What a weekend!

The most memorial thing to happen was that Peter logged in! It was like an electric shock through me. I was with Un, cuddling and chatting, when he logged in. I was contacted by Dey, with offers of support, and Talia came on line shortly after and offered her support. Held by Un, I felt like a phalanx of friends had surrounded me to protect me, they all helped me. I am so grateful to them, I feel so undeserving. Peter did not contact me, and logged off shortly after.

In RL I have not been in the position of losing someone close to me, so I am unprepared to handle the emotions I feel. Un has made me so happy, and he is such a sweet gentleman. I think he may have been dreading this day, wondering if I would go back with Peter. He told me that if i wanted to, he would understand and accept my desicion. That confirmed what I allready knew, that I choose Un. I still feel the pain of that shock, it will take a while to abate, but at least I have felt what I dreaded. If Peter logs in again, the pain wont be so bad, and I know it will lessen over time.

The rest of the weekend is kind of a blur, some things happened that I cannot blog, good things.

Afon

Dancing Away The Night

A late login and a welcome Hi from Un.

Just after logging in, Talia also logged in, so we had chat before I went to join Unique.

Un took me to a romantic sim called Venezia Italia where we took a gondola ride round the canals, relaxing in Un's arms. Un told me its was a bit slow in places, but I did not mind *smiles dreamily*. I usually use my camera to check out any shops we pass, but I didn't this time, hmm, I wonder if I'm coming down with something lol.

Once the trip was over, we then went onto the dance club there and danced the rest of the night away. First dancing a ballroom, then a slow dance, finally kissing on a bridge over one of the canals.

Afon

A Mixed Day

Thursdays are usually quiet, so I was hoping to spend some quality time with Un. Its one week since he first approached me, asking me for a date. So much has happened since then. He has been a constant (and very pleasurable) companion since then, putting up with me dragging him around as I did what I thought I needed to do. My memories of before Un seem to be memories of a distant past. I managed to spend some time devoted to Un, and I hope Un felt it was quality time, I feel guilty and lucky.

Sheesh, work calls...

Afon

A Poem From My Love

I love the wind,
She caresses my sails.
She brings them to life.
She fills them with purpose.
Afon is my wind.

I love the sunshine.
She warms my skin.
She lights my path.
She chases away the haunting shadows.
Afon is my sunshine.

I love the sea.
She carries me to far away places.
She cradles me in her gentle swells.
Her waves rock me to sleep at the end of a weary day.
Afon is my sea.

I love the night.
She brings me peace.
She hides my imperfections.
She keeps my secrets.
Afon is my night.

Un